


Twelfth Perigee Hijinks

by Meezerqueen (CommanderSideswipe)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Friends as Family, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Reference to other fandoms - Freeform, Twelfth Perigee's Eve, Typing Quirks, possible slight ooc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-24 15:33:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13216764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CommanderSideswipe/pseuds/Meezerqueen
Summary: Written for Writscrib Writer's Secret Santa.  Sorry so late, GemmaRose!  Been a while since I wrote anything Homestuck but I Tried.





	Twelfth Perigee Hijinks

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GemmaRose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GemmaRose/gifts).



SPLUT!

 

Nepeta giggled behind her hand, hunching down and swishing her blue tail and giving a playful smile. Equius wiped the snowball off his face roughly. He then gave a stern look to his moirail, gritting his cracked teeth.

 

"Miss Leijon, Mister Zahhak would appreciate if you did not splat him with snowballs." He grumbled sternly. "It is unbecoming for you to celebrate 12th Perigee's Eve in such a manner."

 

"Nepeta...ahem...Miss Leijon wishes to inform Mister Zahhak that Miss Leijon will celepurrate howefur Miss Leijon wants." Nepeta perked up, crossing her arms sternly.

 

Equius facepalmed himself roughly, leaving an indigo imprint in the shape of his hand for a moment. Nepeta giggled more, watching Equius' reaction. It took a moment for Equius to get his bearings after a strong strike to himself.

 

"Perhaps it would behoove Miss Leijon to invite our friends if we are going to act in this manner." He then pursed his lips. "All of them."

 

"All of them." Nepeta giggled. "Shall Miss Leijon access her husktop?"

 

"Indeed." Equius spoke sternly.

 

Nepeta would access her tablet, wriggling in excitement. She then grinned eagerly and wriggled. She started writing her message almost immediately, with her little sketches beside it. But what to write?

 

Oh, she already knew what to say, but she'd say it as soon as she was in the memo.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

arsenicCatnip [AC] RIGHT NOW opened a memo on board ALL THE FRIENDS :33

AC: :33< *ac crawls up onto a big tr33 to yell to her friends*  
AC: :33< efurrybody!  
AC: :33< twelfth purrigee party at my hive!  
AC: :33< shush equius  
CT: D --> Of course, I am part of this f001ishness. On the behest of my moirail.  
GC: 4W3SOM3! 1 4M COM1NG R1GHT NOW!  
AC: :33< s33 you soon terezi!  
AA: i supp0se i will be there  
AA: because y0u are my friend  
AT: wELL, uH, i GUESS i'LL BE THERE, sO, uH, wAIT UP FOR ME,,,  
TA: ii would make the excu2e that iim two bu2y for a party, but that2 a liie 2o ii gue22 iill be there. ju2t dont be 2urprii2ed iif ii mo2tly keep two my2elf.  
AC: :33< aw, but that's purrfectly fine, sollux!  
TA: thank2, np!  
CG: FINE, I GUESS I'LL BE THERE TOO, NEPETA. I MEAN, HELL, I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO.  
GA: I Will Of Course Be Attending. It Will Be Quite Nice To See Everyone.  
GC: SW33T! YOU B3TT3R SHOW UP 1N 4 D3L1C1OUSLY COLORFUL OUTF1T!  
GA: Of Course, Terezi.  
AG: 8oy oh 8oy. I can't w8!!!!!!!!  
AG: seeeeeeee you all there 8itches!  
TC: yAlL BeTtEr bE MoThEr FuCkIn ReAdY  
TC: PrEpArE YoUr cHaGrIn tUnNeLs  
AC: :33< okaaaaaaaay. whatefur that means.  
CG: PROBABLY 'PREPARE YOUR ANUSES'. WHO KNOWS? IT'S GAMZEE.  
CA: wwhatever  
CA: i guess i can glubbin be there  
CA: if fef will glubbin be there  
CC: W)(ale of course! I will sea you there.  
CC: Glub glub glub glub glub glub glub! T)(IS IS ------EXCITING!  
AC: :33< i can't wait to give you all your purrfect gifts!  
AC closed memo.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

It took a while for their friends to finally arrive and Nepeta waited curiously the whole time. Her blue cloth tail swished wildly the whole time. Equius would be watching warily for others. He wasn't that fond of the lower-bloods but it wasn't his call to make if Nepeta wanted to invite everyone for twelfth perigee. He could see them all drawing closer. One by one.

 

"Wait, where's the behemoth leaving even?!" Karkat bellowed.

 

"I'unno. You tell me, K.K." A lispy voice rose behind him.

 

"I wasn't asking you, Sollux!" He huffed, crossing his arms. "So get that through your hear ducts!"

 

"Sollux...Karcat..." Nepeta whined. "Settle down, it's Twelfth Purrigee..."

 

"Yes, please settle down. I realize you are not highbloods but please conduct yourselves better." Equius snorted.

 

"I agree." A dainty feminine voice spoke up softly. "Regardless of class, we should all be on our best behavior. Nepeta put a lot of effort into getting us together for Twelfth Perigee."

 

Karkat seemed to relax slightly. "Alright. Yeah. You're...you're right, Kanaya."

 

"Yeah, yeah." Sollux flapped his hand dismissively for a moment.

 

"Of course she's right. She's the village two-wheel device for auspiticizing. She auspiticizes all the pairs. All of them." A smug tone lilted through the air. "Hello, incidentally, Equius, oh fellow blue-blood."

 

"Ahem. Greetings Miss Sekret." Equius gave a stern look over his sunglasses at her.

 

"Lighten up, Zahhak. It's the Perigee." She snorted. "That goes for you too, Ampora."

 

"Oh of course!" A male sea-dweller troll bellowed, throwing his hands in the air with frustration.

 

"Eridan, be glubbing nice. It's the Perigee, for Gog's sake!" Wet steps could be heard behind Eridan. Feferi pursed her lips sternly.

 

"Sorry Fef." He had a more sheepish look upon the admonishment.

 

"What is he sorry for?" A hollow, ethereal voice spoke.

 

"Her majesty the Heiress has made him sorry for his ludicrous behavior, Miss Megido." Equius spoke dryly. "Please make yourself...at home." He shuddered, loath to speak those last two words.

 

The squeak of wheels could be heard approaching as well, with heavy footfalls behind them. "Did you say we were already there, hehehe?" The pusher of the wheelchair spoke up.

 

"I, uh, yeah, I guess, I, uh, did Terezi..." The troll in the wheelchair stammered.

 

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeah, you totally did." A voice behind them rose.

 

Nepeta silently thanked her lucky stars that Gamzee hadn't gotten lost on the way. What would they do without all there friends there?!

 

Terezi grinned eagerly. "Well good! It's about time we got this party started!"

 

Nepeta wriggled and giggled. "Hey, that was my line, Terezi!" She then paused. "Well, now that efurrybody's gathered anyway I can hand out gifts, just like my lusus does for me!"

 

She would start getting into her captchalogue, fetching for the stack of gifts. She would swish her body eagerly. She then gave a bigger grin and nudged the stack of gifts forward. "I wrapped them in paper with your signs on them!" She spoke cheerfully.

 

Feferi would be the first to pick up her gift. Her eyes widened brightly. "Glub glub glub glub glub! This. Is! AWESOME!" She squealed, hugging the plush squiddle to herself.

 

"I thought you'd love it Fefurry! I made it myself!" Nepeta smiled.

 

Eridan himself held up a clearly hand-made cape. "Thank you, I suppose."

 

"Welcome, Ampurra!" Nepeta chirped. "I made that for you."

 

Gamzee tore away the paper to his gift and grinned. "Dude..." He seemed almost to stare at the colors of the art, created from the blood of various small cheese critter creatures of various blood colors.

 

Equius himself rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses. Nepeta had made him a delicious meal for his gift earlier. He raised his brow, waiting to see what the gift for Vriska was.

 

True to form, Vriska was somewhat frigid until she opened up the gift to find a set of six-sided dice. "Nice. I didn't have any sextets yet. Are these bone?!"

 

"Fur you!" Nepeta grinned.

 

Terezi tore at the wrapping paper and cackled with glee. "It smells de--it smells like a dragon costume!"

 

"Mhmmmm!" Nepeta chirped.

 

Terezi smiled. "Hehehe, you know me well, Nepeta."

 

Kanaya pulled out her gift next, a sweet smile crossing her face. "This is quite well-made with interesting fur textures, Nepeta. I very much enjoy it. Thank you."

 

"You're welcome Kanaya!" She then looked to Karkat. "Karcat, are you..."

 

"Holy shit. How the hell did you find More Than Meets The Lookstubs?! This is the one where...where...no way!" Karkat sputtered in disbelief.

 

"I ordered it online! It's from the beginning to when CD has to mercy kill his Matesprit." Nepeta gave a sad smile. "That was my favorite ship except fur the best Blackrom pair!"

 

"And what the hell pair was that to you?" Karkat blinked.

 

"Ratch's kismessitude with Phar!" She grinned.

 

"I could have sworn that Aid was Auspiticizing them." Karkat shrugged. "I gotta reread."

 

Sollux would shred at his gift wrap. "This is nice." He lisped. "A bee costume. Made with real bees. Cool."

 

Tavros struggled to reach his gift several times. Nepeta squeaked and rushed to hand his gift to him, her "tail" swishing wildly. She had to see how he liked it.

 

"Uh, wow...um..." Tavros sputtered, holding up a quilt with all four symbols of troll romance across a multitude of squares. He didn't know what to say other than a meek squeak. "Thanks."

 

Aradia seemed to absolutely shred the wrapping paper, her hollow eyes staring at the gift before she put it on. "Thank you, Nepeta. This fedora seems like it would be enjoyable."

 

Nepeta sighed with relief. They liked their gifts. They really liked them. She ambled closer to Karkat, peeking over his shoulder. He seemed to be rereading More Than Meets The Lookstubs from the beginning, murmuring to himself.

 

"Vacillating between moiraillegiance and matespritship. Doesn't that jadeblooded nincompoop realize that's why Drift writes his speeches...?"

 

"I know right?" Nepeta chirped.

 

"How long have you been there?!" Karkat blurted, staring at Nepeta.

 

Nepeta gave a shy smile. "A minute. But you're right, they're totally both vacillating in feelings. I hear they eventually settle for matespritship but I haven't got that far..."

 

"Oh, right, I think that's in Dying of the Light stuff." Karkat blinked.

 

Equius himself sighed, but then gave a small smirk. It wasn't bad. It wasn't bad at all. If he got to be with fellow highbloods, it wasn't bad at all. As long as Nepeta herself was happy too.

 

And clearly, while reading that comic with Karkat, that ludicrous comic...clearly, Nepeta was happy. And if she was happy, Equius supposed that for once, just this once, he was happy.


End file.
